HAVING MOM OVER FOR DINNER

You don't even have to be a mother to enjoy this one...

Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but notice how beautiful Brian's roommate, Jennifer, was. Brian's Mom had long been suspicious of the platonic relationship between Brian and Jennifer, and this had only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Jennifer than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, 'I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Jennifer and I are just roommates.'

About a week later, Jennifer came to Brian saying, 'Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?'

Brian said, 'Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail just to be sure. So he sat down and wrote:

__________________________

________________________________

Dear Mom,

I'm not saying that you 'did' take the gravy ladle from the house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love, Brian
__________________________________________________________

Several days later, Brian received an email back from his mother that read:
____________________________________________________

Dear Son,

I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Jennifer, I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Jennifer. But the fact remains that if Jennifer is sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.

Love, Mom

LESSON OF THE DAY -

NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER

Darn iPod!!!

I was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my pint and noticed that everybody was staring at me.

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

My Parents

How unfortunate that one doesn’t understand the true value of parenthood when one is a child. It is not until one becomes a parent that you begin to appreciate what parents do for their kids. My brother and I have reminisced on everything our parents did for us. They never were rich parents nor did they ever seem to desire that, instead they focused on the up-bringing of their children. We always had what we need, didn’t always have what we wanted, yet life was good we had nothing to worry about. I remember how as a kid my parents took us out to eat, vacation trips, camping, Disneyland etc. never even think of the sacrifice they made to do so.

Life was good, a fact that now I realize. As a kid one thinks that everyone’s life is the same, but it is not. Soon I found out the there were others that didn’t have both parents, because either the Father or Mother was out of the picture. Now I regret ever demanding more from my parents or not obeying their rules all time. My parent’s persistence is encouraging; I am the man I am because they never gave up. It took me a while to recognize the value in that, the hard work most parents put into raising their offspring.

I am not saying I am an expert! But parents that do their job no matter with what degree of success deserve a pat in the back for doing so. I think parents can only position their children in the best position possible the circumstances will determine the outcome. My parents did a good job with us, it is sad that I have never thanked them as much as I should for everything they have done for me. Can you imagine I now get to transfer the same values, principles and believes to my daughter. All because of my parent’s hard work, for that I celebrate them and hope to make them proud. Their granddaughter wow how much they love her, I think they love her more than they love me. But that is a whole other story.

Why wait until the end

Why wait until the end
Every day I promise to say I love you
I will not let a day pass without me telling you how much you mean to me
Your very existence brings me happiness
I will let everyone else know you are mine
Your accomplishments and achievements I will highlight
Now that you live I will let everyone know how much I love you
Why wait until the end
Once you are gone...
Why say it then
Why say it then when now is the time

Si Pudiera

Si pudiera verbalizar este sentimiento tan profundo
Si pudiera entonces no habria fracaso en mi vida
Si pudiera el mundo seria differente
Si pudiera el dolor no exsistiria
Si pudiera las canciones de amor, serian nada mas que ruido
Si pudiera no habria suficientes palabras
Si pudiera no habria nesecidad de mas

My child... My LIFE

... how can a fish live without water?
How can I live without you in my life.
My child without you my life is but a blank canvas.
Without you life would just be a series of days...
Oh! But now... now I can show people the splendors of life because you...
You are my work in progress.

Why...?!?!

Why do people think I care?
Why do people think that others care?
Why do parent abuse their kids?
Why haven't I made my first million yet?
Why haven't I finished school?
Why did people vote for Bush, TWICE?!?!?
Why do people think they know more than they really do?
Why do we Facebook so much?
Why are there people who hate? "Can't we all get along?"
Why do people blog?
Why do people buy?
Why do people sell?
Why can't people make a decision?
Why do we...?

blah blah blah

TV, Radio and Newspaper that is all they do! BLAH BLAH BLAH!! Have they run out of things to say? Nowadays it just seems like noise.  Has the world gone nuts... or is it me?  We hear, read and see news that shouldn't be news, yet we're the guilty party for getting caught up in it.  If we were to not pay any attention to it, I think they would do a better job of delivering the goods. Today's journalists are a dime a dozen, none of them have brought anything new to the table, if you've seen one you've seen them all.  Come on "News-people" I challenge you to provoke us again makes us want to verify the facts. Can you? You make it so easy the a baby can see through it.  

"I'm broke"

Yeah and you're not the only one! Everyone is broke because of the current economy, stop complaining do something about. Sitting on your butt will not help.  Everywhere I turn and everyone I talk to is talking about how broke they are!! Yet still manage to tell me how much they hate their jobs.... WHAT?! Has the world gone nuts or is it me? For those of you with a job be thankful you have one, stop complaining about your job, and stop letting every single one of your co-workers know how much you hate your job. Because, guess what... that type of madness gets around, once they (THE MAN) start looking for ways to stay afloat you will be the first to go. Then you will wish you still had your job, that job you hated oh so much. Oh... and don't worry I'll be there to remind you every day you stay unemployed, of how much you were me.